Ramadan Thoughts

My heart longs for a place of comfort,

Not tall sky scrapers, concrete and illusion.

I yearn for unexplainable beauty,

A vast opening of peace.

A place where we can bid farewell to our outer layers –

Revealing our raw selves.

The selves that are made for divine love,

Without the prying eyes of jealous hearts,

The interfering fingers of others,

Being thrown, shaped and moulded,

Concealing the light within.

Ya Allah cleanse our mirrors,

Grant us with lamps that shine so bright they illuminate the truth,

Allow us to embrace who we are,

So that we can go back to You.


Top tips in Alton Towers: A Muslim Guide

Alton towers, to me screams childhood.When I was younger my parents brought us a Merlin Pass so theme parks were literally our go to place for a year!

Recently, my husband and I went to Alton Towers during half-term holidays.. alhamdullilah we had an ABSOLUTE blast! Although it is pretty much the same as how I remembered it, there are a few know how’s that we thought might be pretty useful to share!

  1. NEXT DAY PASS: If you want to make the most out of your trip, most definitely invest in a next-day pass. It’s only an extra tenner but it means that you don’t need to rush around like lunatics and actually enjoy yourself! Don’t underestimate how big the park is… we walked 15km in just one day!
  2. WALKING SHOES: On that note, DEFINITELY wear some super comfy shoes. You won’t regret choosing comfort over style over here, trust me. I did the opposite once and not only had a blister but I also had my shoe fall on top of a shop roof (oops). Definitely make use of the sky ride in Alton towers to get from A to B, its a nice view and you can put your feet up and chill.
  3. REFILLS. Save your money, bring your own bottle and go to the many refill ‘hydration stations’ that they have in the park! We only discovered this at the end of the second day.. It really would have helped us from a) carrying bottles and b) buying drinks. As you’ll be walking a lot, don’t bring more than you need to. Also, there’s a refillable slushy cup that we got on the first day but then very annoyingly left in the car the second buttt you can have refill slushies for £2!
  4. EXTRA CLOTHES: Now I went all-in on the first day, I brought an extra pair of everything thinking that I’d be completely soaked. To my surprise, they had taken away the log flume ride which typically got us drenched, so we ended up going on Rumba Rapids instead. Much to our dismay, we didn’t get wet at all despite the many MANY attempts to push the boat. If you’re traveling with a big group then you might be lucky, but the only attraction that you’ll be drenched to the core is the ‘Battle Galleons’. Here you can spray water on people, get sprayed on, and just have an absolute laugh! If you’re wet and want to dry off then bring change, they have hot bays. Also, if you go to Mutiny Bay toilets, the baby changing room in the ladies and gents is super spacious, defo worth getting changed in there if there are no babies!
  5. FAST TRACK: When I was small, I viewed fast track as first-class priority tickets. We never ever got them (looking at how expensive it is, and how many of us went, my parents would have had to fork out an arm and a leg.. Totes understandable). This time round we splurged out and got them and OH MY GOODNESS what a game-changer. I don’t think I can go to a theme park without it now, seriously it is so helpful and just saved us buckets of time and energy. Especially if you’re a teacher like me and only have the privilege of going in school holidays with the crazy 190min queues, then I’d say that it’s essential unless you want to wait all day queuing. We didn’t have the energy to do that, it meant that we could just wait max 2-8 mins for a ride that everyone’s queuing up for hours, it also meant that we could go to the dungeons and the aquarium which were really good experiences. Also, it’s good to note that sometimes if it says it is out of stock online, it doesn’t mean that its all doom and gloom. We managed to get some on the day for single rides but you just need to keep checking online. ALSO just bear in mind that the last hour of the day is golden, you should choose your favourite section and go on as many of the rides as possible. Even though the ques closes at 8, you can still que up and catch the last go on the rides!
  6. ENTERTAINMENT: On the occasion that you have to que up, then I would definitely have a list of things to do. We brought our Nintendo switch with us, I saw people with books and sketch pads etc. Use it as me-time. Please note that there is not always a connection so don’t rely on your phones. I loved chatting to my husband (ofc) but also the people in front and behind us in the ques! Also, try and get some small foldable chairs that you can prop up if you suffer from any back/leg/feet problems or just for added ease.
  7. ALTON TOWERS PARK APP: This was amazing, this my first time using it and it was pretty useful! It gave us real que times (although sometimes it was false, we think it’s a conspiracy to make us go to other places in the park). As well as routes to get to the rides but please note that due to Covid there’s one-way systems that it sometimes doesn’t consider.
  8. HALAL RESTAURANTS: There’s a restaurant called ‘Eastern Express’ that we had chips and a sharwama from the first day, and the second day we had the veggie options from ‘Pizza and Pasta’ that was pretty decent but a bit on the pricy side.
  9. SALAH ROOM: As soon as you come into the park, there’s a room called ‘Quiet Room’ in the Guest Services that you can pray in!
  10. PARKING: Definitely get the parking the day before and try and come early to park in A or B so you can walk to the park entrance. Don’t waste your time on the monorail if you’re close to the entrance. Just walk! On our last day we took it back just to experience it and we went righttt at the end so it wasn’t too bad!

I’ll be posting an itinerary of our few days and what else we got up to soon.. Stoke-on-Trent has a vast range of things for you to delve in and enjoy yourselves!

Earth’s Caretakers.

To look after the earth, is to delve into the deeply rooted principles that Islam teaches us every day. Being environmental stewards, is to rejoice and celebrate khulq – a Muslim’s character – being moderate, having foresight and exuding in care.

It’s also a display of tarbiya, showing how we can control our nafs in the battle against acquiring plastics that we don’t need, buying excess products that don’t contribute to anything but our own ego and fighting against laziness in order to recycle, reuse and reduce.

When we really tap into the transformative beauty of what it is to be a steward of the earth, you can see the underlying lesson of self accountability. As you embrace that into your stride, you not only account for what you use, but how you use it, where you buy it from, how you dispose of it, if you are using it to its ultimate capacity. To me, it is a uttermost shadow of this hadith:

“Take benefit of five before five: Your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death”

If we care for our health, then why are we contributing to fossil fuels? If we are concerned about wealth, why spend friviously? Also, if we think about the beloved Prophet SAW and strive to attain his caring, loving characteristics, then we need to look introspectively at the way we deal with the world around us. Can we claim to be loving when we don’t love the world that gives so freely to us? Can we claim to be grateful when we are unjust to the world that consistently loves us unconditionally? What do we do to deserve the fruits from the trees, the vegetation in the ground, the sun’s endless rays, the water from the sea and the fresh crisp air? Are we not denying Allah’s bounties by not caring for what He has lovingly made for us, His servants?

This is a reminder to myself, first and foremost. I tend to get drained in the world around me without realising that nature is a test in itself. It doesn’t shout, nor does it make a fuss. Instead it goes on with its rememberance of Allah and obeys Him unconditionally.

All in all, being loving towards the environment, is one of the biggest forms of self-redemption and purification. That’s why we truly believe that it all starts with an intention to make an impact, even if the result is not as you wanted it to be, it is the trying that counts, for Allah is All-Seeing, All-Aware.

Forbidden Love

As she called me,
I could hear the anguish wrapped in her tone,
Her words screamed attention,
And I wanted to love her
Bone to bone.

When will I see you again?
She asked.
I had no answer.

Being in the unknown is a frightening place,
My fears of losing them,
I was desperately trying to face.

To feel their presence in mine,
Their hands as they overlap,
I can’t wait to hold them in my arms,
Squeeze them tight,
To their core,
To see you again Nani and Nani,
Is a battle worth fighting for.


(In the midst of Coronavirus, please keep your loved ones safe. This poem was inspired after I had a phone call with my grandma. The unknown is a strange feeling..I just can’t wait for normality to come back!)

Heavy love

The weight of love
That is held in a parents heart,
Yields more than words can say,
More than actions can show.
The force is as great as lightening,
Its almost frightening,
Just how deep it can go.

When our sorrow become theirs,
Our every happiness,
And experience becomes relived through them.

Only wanting more and most,
Their love is pure,
It’s light burning bright,
Expelling all of the darkness.


It’s okay

More times than not, I’ve found myself in a never ending ferocious cycle, it goes something like this…

1. Something happens.

2. I get agitated/upset/annoyed and I let it engulf me.

3. My response to that, is based upon what I can see in my bubble; I fail to acknowledge the consequences that go beyond what I can see, lacking foresight.

4. Upon realising what I’ve done and how my response only encompassed me, and not thinking about the other, I drown myself in a sea of self pity and regret.

5. I cultivate a fear of repeating that action, instead of growing from it, and thus, my development is stunted because I don’t want to come face to face with the truth.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the bane of my life. As much as I love seeking out about my weaknesses, it’s still never a nice encounter. No-one ever wants to be face to face with their ugliest self, and face the true reality of what lurks within.

Me trying to run away from myself, and running away from my vices isn’t doing me any favours. Actually, what I’m doing is that I’m running away from my potential. I’m running away from the person I can be. I’m running away from growth. Instead of battling it, I push the dagger deeper into my back, and let it pierce my heart, endlessly.

So, this is a reminder for myself first and foremost, and anyone else who can relate, that its okay to make mistakes, it’s okay not to be perfect, it’s okay to meet your demons, just don’t let your demons defeat you. Fight them with every inch of yourself, and know that you are more than that.

It’s really, and truly, okay.

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If you really knew me..

Today I did a lesson with my little dumplings about who they are and what makes them unique for a unit on Death. We cut up little pieces of card and they had to write a secret fact about themselves that no-one else knows starting with “If you really knew me…”
These were some of the heart piercing ones that came back to me.

Never underestimate the feelings of kids, never underestimate mental stability, and never, for a second, take anything in your life for granted.

“I cry for my mum and dad at night when no-one sees me”

I’m scared of being by myself

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The act of selflessness, that I will never forget.

The heat was blistering hot, so much so, that the rays dug into my back as I was holding my black straw hat and gazing out of the window as we were travelling to a school in Senegal. We were in a black jeep, me, my dad, my mum and my sister all huddled together against the old tattered leather as the smell of sweat, dust and smoke surrounded us. We had a water bottle to share between the 4 of us, as the rest had been annihilated previously by our thirst -we weren’t used to this heat. I was sweating in places I didn’t know I could sweat in, it didn’t help that I was wearing all black…

As we arrived at our destination, we clambered out of the car waiting for the others to come. The sweet sound of children’s excited mummers, running through the sand to gaze upon the strangers that entered their land was soothing, and I had forgotten about the blistering trip that we encountered on the way here. It wasn’t long before we were surrounded: eyes of wonder, smiles of hope illuminated our view as they edged closer to us. The sound of the other members of the crew broke the harmonious state that I quickly found myself in; I rapidly caught a glimpse of their shiny new water bottles that I could see was being held out in glee. It was almost as if it were a trophe, a prized possession that we had labourously worked for. Suddenly, my dry cracked mouth broke the serenity that I was bathing in, and raging thirst plummeted through my body. I need water.

I laugh to myself, looking back at it now. Need is such a big word, it certainly wasn’t apt for the situation that I was in; we had drunk plenty in the car, albiet being a bit warm and fuzzy, but it was still water nevertheless. How selfish was I? How selfish was I, that I felt entitled to have it, when the children in front of me have had none, for the entire day.

Ah, the look in their eyes, the longing was indescribable – if only you were there. None of this is an exaggeration, God is my only witness to what happened next..

With a guilty selfish heart, I gave one of the boys that were surrounding me a bottle, clearly seeing the hunger that inhabited his eyes. Expecting him to gulp it all down, just as I did, I was in utter shock to see him delicately open the lid, and pass the bottle around to those around him. Each one had a calculated sip, so that everyone could enjoin in this splendour. Finally, as he had done his rounds, with a smile of triumph, he brought the bottle to his lips and took the last drop.

Thats when it hit me.

That level of selflessness is only achievable because he could empathise how they felt, for it was a reality that he was living himself. He knew the pangs of their thirst from the inside out, whereas I saw it from the external, he could feel it.

In July, we will be climbing 3 mountains in a day, in order to raise money for a sustainable micro dam in Mali, so that everyone can have what is a necessity we take for granted.

This Ramadan, I’ve consistently come across ayahs of God complaining that we don’t take heed to His blessings. By God this is true. We aren’t and will never be grateful enough for everything that He has given us.

If we don’t help them, who will? Who’s there to share their stories? Who’s there to capture their struggles?
I would love for you to be a part of this and join me in this journey towards providing a basic necessity to those who need it the most.


Please give whatever you can, and spread the word by sharing my page with your friends and family. Thank you in advance for your generosity, it means more than you know, not for me, but for them. Please do look at the videos and pictures below. May God accept it, and allow us to be the coolness to their eyes. Ameen.

This picture was taken in Senegal, when Human Appeal International blessed us with the opportunity to see their projects.

This was our team, the beautiful souls.

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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.


This is so powerful.

All we have is now, not tomorrow, not next week, not next month, not even the next minute. Now. If we believe we do have long, then know that you’re under an illusion. And that illusion, if taken as a reality, can be very detrimental.

I suffer from procrastination. I always did, always do – I’m the queen of it, sadly (may God rectify my soul). But how many times have I pushed back something, or prolonged doing an action because I didn’t live in the moment, but in the future. Living in the now is something I’m trying to work on, trying to see what’s in front of me, not getting caught up with what’s gone and not getting tangled in the web of anxiety of what’s to come.

Just enjoying this moment, right here, right now. Make the most of it, because we don’t know when our time will be written.. when our soul will be taken back, even that, is a thought that scares me. Death is the only thing that’s definite, it’s the only thing we can guarantee will happen. So what are you doing to prepare? Live in the now, thinking that it will be your last moment… How powerful is that?

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Blessed Intervention

“I was made for this”

He had said, as he prostrated and placed his head, in a raised sujood in front of the Lord, his ultimate love for us he bled.

My Ummah, My Ummah”

He cried, begging our Lord to let us through, hoping that our Iman can show true. First a seed, then an atom, then a confirmation he will plead. Oh how we have such an inspiration that will lead!

On that day, everyone will be selfish, their nafs overtaking. Mothers will drop their babies, every soul will be shaking. Their bones will be quivering in fear, the only solace that they will have is that their Rasool is near.

How do we show his love in our everyday life? How do we avoid desolation, on that day when we are meant to be praising and celebrating his legacy?

I was made for this”

But, are you made for his intercession? Are you worthy of his blessed intervention? Through the waves of chaos, the crowds of people – how can you be sure, that it is you that he will mention?

“I was made for this”

His words ring in my head, I’m trying to make it penetrate into my heart of led, oh Allah allow us to be a beacon of his message, allow us to love endlessly fuelled by his unwavering care and mercy.

Allow us, to be a part of his Ummah. Ameen.

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Don’t worry, I’m making that special dua for you. In Tahajjud and before I break my fast; I’m saving those for you.

And my heart goes on, the love that knows no boundaries, the care that always immerses, and the duas that are always uttered, laced with love.


The petals that fall.

We are the blossom that paints the earth with all of our different colours. Scattered around the lands, like petals that fall withered and crisply beautiful in the breeze…

I’m leaving teaching.

I’d never thought that I’d be writing this post. But, alas – lo and behold, here I am.

My journey into teaching, has been a long one. One, that has been undoubtedly insightful, challenging and rewarding. Ever since I was introduced to Miss Honey in Matilda when I was around 8 years old, I knew that that’s what I wanted to be. To bring transformative joy, happiness and contentment into childrens’ life and take them out of their darkness has always been appealing. I did that typical ‘teacher’ thing of putting all of my teddies on the floor as my students, getting a double sided pen that I unforgivably mummified in layers of tape and, putting on my best posh voice, called out each imaginary name in my class. Little did I know that a few years down the line, I’d be doing exactly that.. but in a whole new context and with actual (awesome) little humans.

After my degree in Education, in IOE, I embarked on the rigourous TeachFirst course to get my QTS (qualified teacher status) to change the lives of students. When I first started, I was excited beyond belief -just imagine, my dream was finally coming true. The school I was placed at looked exactly like my primary school with its Victorian exterior, cobbled walls and marble staircases. The nostalgic feeling of my childhood encompassed my mind, and the reality of what I was doing didn’t hit me until I was there, on that September morning, panda-eyed from the lack of sleep the night before due to excitement and worries of waking up late, and there, in front of my eyes were my very own class. All 30 of them, eager to impress me and apprehensive of what was to come.

What was to follow, was something that I didn’t expect. Retrospectively, it was mainly my fault. I viewed teaching through rose tinted glass. Of course, when you’re young, no-one tells you about the hours of unpaid labour, the stress of accountability that’s under your name, the 6am-8pm days, the fact that you got observed and rated on how good your practice was everyday to the point where I would shudder in anxiety just to see my door open, the lack of energy and the massive self-esteem knock that a school can have on you. No-one told me, how lonely teaching could be. No-one told me, that I could still be bullied, that in a floor of teachers one could still feel so alone and isolated. I was placed in an academy, that made me have panic attacks 3 days before I was even at work, one that would make me feel so insignificant and small. The only source of comfort, and the only reason why I came back everyday was the children. That’s all. They were the shining light in my harrowing melancholy days.

Looking back now, I should have asked for help, I should have reached out. But at the time, I was too scared to even do that. Asking for help, was interpreted that you aren’t capable, that if I asked for help, I’d be shunned by my own bullets. It was only till I reached the end of my first year, going into my second year, that I realised that I had to do something about it. We had finally plucked up the courage to hand in our resignation, and leave. And I say we, because it turned out that I wasn’t alone in this feeling…that following Christmas, around 10 teachers left with me. It was heartbreaking to leave a class half way during a year, but it had to be done- for my own sanity. I couldn’t recognise myself, the energetic enthusiastic person that started this journey was like a lifeless corpse by the end, unable to have any autonomy and allowing myself to be controlled with strings.

I was put into a new school, a state funded school, that operated completely differently to how the previous one was orchestrated. Actually, it was the headteacher who saw me at whilst at a placement in her school and saw my potential that asked me to join her federation. I finally go to school, excited and at ease. To have people believe in me, to celebrate mistakes and allow you to grow and learn as individuals was just beautiful. Our lessons are fun, I can be myself and I’m not forced into being someone I’m not. I want to go above and beyond for the federation because of the unyeidled belief that they have in me. The first thing someone said as I walked into the new school was, “welcome to the family” and I had immediately knew that I had made the right decision.

See, I’m not leaving teaching because I don’t like it. I love it, with every part of my soul- I adore it. The minute by minute intellectual, pastoral and emotional impact that you can have on children, day in and day out is beautiful. No matter what happens, I always want to be teaching and imparting the best of me that I can. However, being a teacher, unless you are in the right environment which nurtures you, can be very detrimental. I’ve seen far too many people leave the profession because they are placed in schools like the first one that I was, fortunately placed at. And I say fortunate, because despite it being some of my darkest days, I wouldn’t change it for the world. They say, that its at those times, when you see the stars. I know how rewarding it can be, and the continuous feeling of happiness that you can feel if you are in the environment that nurtures your seed and allows you to grow, one that doesn’t pull you out at the roots and views you as a weed. I want the workload, accountability and stress of teachers to be accounted for, and for a real difference to happen. So, I’m aiming for policy and government so that, one day, I can have an impact. I love teaching, I just dislike being a teacher in this current system.

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Throughout my life, I’d typically say that I’m quite a motivated person. I have a vision, I see the path that will take me there and I take steps towards it. I have done so for ages, ever since I was small. My ambition was fired up by a deep yearning to change the world, to affect lives and to do something that can leave a legacy.

However, fast forward to today and I’m not the same person.

My fire has been capped by the feelings of laziness, misleading priorities, avoiding hard work and the feeling of entitlement. I’m too comfortable, in where I am now that I’m failing to push myself to reach for my goals. I’m unmotivated, unable to push myself into new realms of this world.

What I’ve realised is that most of the time we can get lazy, and familiarity becomes a comfort blanket that stops us from reaching the unknown. We become so absorbed in our own bubble, that we find it hard to see beyond it. It’s quite frightening, when you think about it…there’s so much of the world to explore and discover, so much of ourselves to find if we truly pushed ourself.

Recently, these questions have been really helping me break that shell:

What would the Prophet SAW do?

Our Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him, always aimed for the best. He would always push himself and others to reach the highest level of perfection and become the best versions of themselves. If he were in your position, what would he do? Alternatively, if you met him and told him your situation, what would he advise you? What are you doing to make him proud? To make his efforts of fighting for this ummah -for you to be where you are today- worth it?

What would I want my daughter/son to do?

This is something I go back to, on a daily basis. If I had a child who was in the exact same position as me, giving me the exact same excuses that I’m allowing myself to believe are true- what would I say? Would I let them sit in silence, knowing full well that they could be achieving so much more? Would I not push them to be the best that they could be? Would I not encourage hard work, and allow them to embrace struggle and not take the easy route? Would I not teach them, that success takes work and that life doesn’t come to you handed on a silver platter?

What would you say to Allah swt?

Everyday we have a new lease of life, He allows us to have a chance to start again everyday. On the day of judgement, when He asks you how you’ve spent your time, what would you say? How will you answer him, when you know you didn’t achieve what you could have, if you’d just put in the effort.

Who am I surrounding myself around?

This is vital. We know the profound impact company has on a person’s soul. Are the people your surrounding yourself with encouraging you to be the best you can be? Are they helping you towards your goals? Are they themselves, trying to achieve their goals? Also, what message is your attitude sending to those around you? Would you want to hang around yourself?

All of these questions have really geared me up to rememeber why what my vision is in life and what my goals are. Always remember what motivated you to start with. What is your biggest motivation? Write it down and embed it in your life.

May Allah swt grant us the ability to have ehsaan in everything we do, may He open up doors for us and allow the ummah of Rasool to make a beautiful difference in the world. Ameen.

“The heart was created to be broken and through the cracks does the light come in” S.S

“Keep me for you. Keep me just for you. Make your presence and remembrance for you a permenant citizen of my heart. Embed your qualities in my soul and let me exude your light. Make me purely, just for you, ya rubb” she pleaded, as her eyes flooded with tears and her forehead was delicately placed on the intricate details of her prayer mat; each weaved string imprinted on her forehead leaving a mark of her embrace.

Phases of the moon.

My phases are like the moon, sometimes, like the full moon I’m raging in passion; everything that I see weeps your name and craves your presence. My heart longs to be beside you and my soul aches your wisdom and guidance.

Forgive me, ya Rasool, when my moon is weak. When my cresent is fragile, and unable to illuminate your divine light, like a candle in the middle of a storm, I’ll try and stay alight. But alas, I give into the winds of the dunya, thinking that it will grant me delight. Forgive me, when I use the clouds and the darkness of the night to mask my imperfections and only have a whisper of my being that is calling your name. Surely, my heart is tainted, calling to be washed with your love.

Just like the moon, we will continue to shine – regardless of our position. For the moon is still in orbit, held together by the noor that you’ve left behind. May we always portray your legacy, like glorious beacons, may our hearts beat to your anthem, our limbs portraying your wisdom and our soul, echoing your praise; SAW.

Our hearts are tired.

Each day it weeps for you to unlock it’s sorrows that is hidden within its chambers.

This raw crypt of mine is shackled to my nafs, not allowing me to unlock its barren chains.

Ya Rubb, allow us to acknowledge our vulnerabilities to you. Grant us the power to confront our scars, and soothe the pain with Your love and mercy. For your generosity sees no bounds, your light seeks to illuminate all that is in it’s path.


Burden of Ramadan

Your vices come out to play,

For the shaytaan is locked away,

And that, is the burden of Ramadan.

You see all that you are,

All that you can be,

And all that is stopping you in your way.

What are you going to do about it?

When the month is over and done,

The weight of knowing looms over you like a shadow,

Never leaving your side.

By whom are you going to abide by?

Will you attack the darkness, or let it’s perplexing light keep you blinded to the open wound?

And this, is the burden of Ramadan.



Al – Fatiha

Starting with praise, I am raised – my inner mechanisms aligned to a harmonious platform of Shukr. Only when gratitude becomes the baseline for my soul, do all elements of my life gain clarity. The evil and negativity that was once there, gets removed from my view and I can see the remenice of Allah’s attributes in everything I do. This sets my mind up for worship, and I crumble in vulnerability to Him. Everything that was done, and everything that will be is only through the will of Allah swt. I didn’t ask for anything, yet He gave me beyond what I deserve. His graciousness and mercy, transcends what I can imagine. Guidance, rolls down my lips… guide me, my lord to the path of the righteous.

There is a mercy that goes before the need arises, the Grace that is ever watchful that flows from Allah the most gracious to all His creatures, protecting them.

Her eyes are cities
Glistening lights of lost dreams
With no map over its terrain
Of silence and madness,
Of chaos and heartache

In her eyes you will read
A book about sadness
Buried deep within
Hidden from those that curse her
With no author no publisher
No country of origin.

You will build and anthology
Out of her, cut pieces of yourself
For her; your tears
Will bind her pages together,
Until you no longer recognize

You will build a home in her,
Find pieces of your heart
You once misplaced
In the folded corners of her pages;
You will try to read yourself in her,
But you will realize
Her pages were never meant to be read
By you.

Stubbornly, He clings to her.
He will not leave
Until she saves him
From himself. -Khalil Haidar

The beautiful thing about Him, is that,
When you hold the pen, He writes you the best story.
When you get onto the boat with no direction, He becomes the wind that direct your lost sails,
When you fall into the dark, He becomes the light.
When you trip, He already has your bandage.
Your heart flutters at the call of His name,
Your eyes water at His mercy
Your mouth smiles at His perfectness;
I’d discovered a hole within my self,
But I’ve found Him waiting in it.

Say: “Whether you hide what is in your hearts or reveal it, Allah knows it all: He knows what is in the heavens, and what is on earth. And Allah has power over all things.’ [3:26]

Light upon light.

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Starting the day with the name of my lord,
I surrender to his plan.

My soul tainted with the touch of his words,
I stroll aimlessly through his lands,

I was waiting till I could go back home,
It was a patience I had to withstand,


My heart yearned to see him one more time,

But it was over.
I got there too late,

My heart stopped for a second,
His for eternity,

Because indeed we belong to Allah,
And to him
We return.

Just have patience,
Just have patience,
I repeated
Time and time again.



Time is a funny place,
A place to slip away,
A place to lose yourself,
A place to call ‘today’.


Walking on water.

And the earth – We spread it out and cast therein firmly set mountains and made grow therein [something] of every beautiful kind,
Giving insight and a reminder for every servant who turns [to Allah ].

Today I let my feet explore.
I walked down familiar roads, crossed the same pavements as I always do.
With the beat of drums and my masters name dancing within my ear. The wind carrying living and dead souls of people and the decaying leaves of ancient trees as my company.
I stumbled across this little street, lined with vintage lamposts and forgotten shops.
In the middle, was a flower shop. Despite the dreary day the scent of sweet roses filled the air.  It just made me realise that no matter where you go, if you look deep enough you’ll always find something spectacular even if it is among the usual.

I stumbled across a tree on my walk, it was most beautiful. It’s leaves at the top of the tree were shaded a dark amber and it transgressed into lighter colours as it went down.
I wondered, why  the leaves were darker and more burnt at the top? Why is the normal leaves at the bottom?
To me, this tree represented the dunya.
The leaves the people.
As time goes pass, the leaves grow and change and fall off into a new realm.
They were all clinging for dear life.
They go through an inevitable process of change.
It showed me, that if you want to be at the top, you don’t only need to be different, but you would have to endure alot and be burnt in the process.

I like walking on water sometimes, the reflection can be quite surprising sometimes.


(Yes, I am aware that I’m extremelly deep when I walk. Leaf me. *Picture reference yeye* )

its like the beating of the heart, sometimes you have the deep down beats, and sometimes you have the upbeats
each is contributing towards keeping you alive.


She was always reaching for the light,
It seemed, the closer she got, the further away it seemed.
It was slipping through her fingers.
Fading into the darkness



Soldiers of the light

Hand in hand,
they illuminated the darkness.
They are soldiers of the light,

They will glow.


I don’t want someone like me,
I don’t want someone who’s the opposite of me,
I want someone who’s ready to face me.


He held her hand,
Trembling as he matched it.
With fear trembling through his voice,
and tears masking his eyes,
He said,
‘Do you dare to hope.’
She replied,
‘Only if you dare to dream.’

Do you dare?

Beautiful discovery.

The beautiful thing about Him, is that,
When you hold the pen, He writes you the best story.
When you get onto the boat with no direction, He becomes the wind that direct your lost sails,
When you fall into the dark, He becomes the light.
When you trip, He already has your bandage.
Your heart flutters at the call of His name,
Your eyes water at His mercy
Your mouth smiles at His perfectness;

I’d discovered a hole within my self,
But I’ve found Him waiting in it.


My love.

So, you want me to tell you about my lover?
When they ask of his name,
I say he has 99 names like no other,
When they ask how much he loves me,
I say he loves me more than my own mother,
When they ask about his family,
I say he is one with not a sister or a brother.
When they ask where he is,
I say he’s everywhere,
When they question his closeness,
I say he’s closer than my tear
When they ask when we will meet,
I say in no time,
When they ask how beautiful he is,
I say he’s internally divine,
And when they ask who’s he is,
I say,
he’s all

You see, sometimes you have to ignore the words that are spoken and listen to the feeling that is speaking.
Each letter, each syllable, is an attempt to call out to you.

You see, someti…

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Vintage memories.

It’s beautiful to look back and smell the roses, see the dead remains of things that once made sense. To laugh in the face of reminisce and know where you stand in the world today. Beautiful.

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I pray that your noble intentions be elevated
and life objectives be facilitated,
as you continue to do all that you do,
Let your heart soar and taste every experience that there can be,
May you be protected from hearts that are not humbled,
tongues that are not wise,
and eyes that have forgotten how to cry,
May your successes of today be the first of many
and may you be granted more success on every tomorrow that you see,
May your ears listen to the song of happiness,
Love till you feel numb.
and may you wear your beautiful smile with pride.
Remember that your eyes can change a nation,
Your words can reside in peoples thoughts for eternity,
as it leaves a scar in history.
Go out and change the world,
Be the best that you can be.
and know that you are ever so imperfectly perfect,
to me.

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فقسلا سمالت رعاشم و طيحملا لثم سيساحأ اذه يبلق لخادب لمحأ

I carry within this heart, emotions that are like oceans, and feelings that touch the ceiling.

فقسلا سمالت رع…


Sometimes an individuals mere existence inspires us to strive for a better world.
And sometimes, that person doesn’t even know the rampaging effect they have on a person, on people. 
Sometimes that person needs to be told.
that person needs to be reminded that what they are, is what makes you.

Speak, and the universe will react.
Align your actions with your intentions
and watch your life become breathtaking.

Speak, and the …

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Whenever I think about my family, tears cloud my eyes.
In each one of them I see my heart
I see home.
I think about all the hard times we’ve been through,
all of the tears we’ve wiped from each others faces,
all of the bandages we’ve put on each others hearts.
The times when we had to be pillars for one another
I remember all the times we’ve felt invincible,
All the faces of laughter and joy.
I chuckle at our craziness,
Smile at our traditions.
All of our stories are different, but together we make one.
I feel an unexplainable never ending fire of love from the depths of my soul.
I wouldn’t change my family for the world.

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The sahabas were willing to give up their lives for Islam.
What are YOU willing to give up?


The sahabas wer…

Veiled Contentment.

I’m not going to lie, I try to dress my best;

Long sleeves, Loose jeans, cover the chest.

Wrap my scarf around my head like you would have guessed.

So as you can see, I dress to impress.

Don’t flatter yourself, it’s not for you,

Or the guys down the park with nothing to do.

But in fact for God, so please excuse,

The hijab on my head, that I really did choose.

Just take a minute to clear your head.

Let’s acknowledge each other.

Let’s smile,

Let’s nod,

Let’s “Good morning!” each other.

Let’s talk,

Let’s laugh,

Let’s wave at eachother.

And then let’s judge

Our manners,

Our characters,

Our attitudes.

Let’s look past my hijab sir.

By Iman Amin 

(its awesomesauce right? MashaAllah :3)

I shiver when I see the moon.

I shiver when I see the moon.
I know that at that exact moment,
you do too.
and our eyes lock in a state of blissful tranquillity. 

I want to be the platform that people who have been silenced, can shout.
That people who previously had no shoulder can lean,
That people who haven’t had a hug can be squished.
And to those who haven’t had hope, can be inspired to have faith.

I want to be th…

Can’t you feel the pain??


Every vein in my body screams as it pumps blood,
Every fibre gets ignited with burning crimson flames lighting its way in the darkness,
Every beat of my heart is in harmony to the sound of sadness, 
Every look I force my eyes to take is a scene of unforgiving heartbreak, 
Every breath that escapes my lips is a witness to my torture, 
Every tear that escapes my eye is a souvenir of the despair. 

They say the Ummah is one body.
Can’t you feel the pain?

You say…

You say oppression lies on the edge of helplessness,
Of despair
if you believe we are destined for dismay,
Then why are you still standing there?
As if you enjoy feeding off our pity,
Please, save me the nitty gritty,
We don’t need the approval of your so called ‘norms’,
Confined and constructed from your regimented historical forms,
stripping all foreigness bit by bit,
Tailored to be perfected to your societal  fit,
Weaved with false hope, fabricaton and lies,
‘We will only display what we think buys’,
Buys into this fake ideology that you submit,
Secreted into every fashioned barbie doll you permit,
No wonder the rate of insecurity has plummeted to the sky,
Yet you sit there naively asking ‘why?’
So shush with your equality and your so called liberation,
You have the audacity to call me a citizen of your nation,
How can I be when I’m constantly bring silenced,
My opinions thrown back at me- I call that a level of lyrical violence,
I didnt know it was wrong to stand for something I believe in,
Shatter the fragment of my dreams with a pin,
I don’t understand why we can’t get along,
In the end of the day we sing the same song,
Our internal stucture is exactly the same,
So why does our external have to bring us shame?
We are all one family- one Ummah,
Don’t let the westerners deviate us from the beloved Sunnah.